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I used to care way too much about being liked…
I would soften the tone in my voice, lower my standards, laugh at things that just weren’t funny, and say yes when I meant to say no.
And you know what that got me? Exhausted, resentful, and very angry at myself.
There was a time in my life where I let some people ride my kindness like it was public transportation. They needed money... I gave it to them. They needed time… I gave it to them. They needed emotional support… I gave that to them too. I told myself I was being loving. Truth is, I was afraid of being misunderstood. Afraid of being labeled difficult.
That’s donkey energy!
Everyone feeds you compliments while they saddle you up…
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Here’s what I learned the hard way (as usual!). When you start setting boundaries, people who benefited from your lack of them will call you selfish. When you stop over explaining yourself, they’ll call you cold. When you stop tolerating disrespect, they’ll say you’ve changed.
Good! Wolves get hated!
A wolf knows who it is. It moves with intention. It doesn’t beg for approval from sheep or applause from people who don’t have the courage to stand on their own damn two feet!
I would rather be respected by a few than used by many.
That doesn’t mean becoming a cruel person. It means becoming clear about everything. It means your yes actually means yes and your no actually means no. It means you stop bleeding yourself dry just to keep the peace and maybe keep a relationship.
If you’re in recovery, in business, in leadership, in life… you can’t afford to live for everyone else. That’s how you lose yourself!
Better to be the wolf they misunderstand than the donkey they overwork.
Ask yourself this today. Are you leading your life… or letting people ride it?
Jeff
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P.S. Enjoying Today’s Light? Explore the rest of Light In The Tunnel. Mental health support for men and women, plus journal entries and prompts to help you stay grounded.
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