Today's Light | What Are You Afraid Of?

Let me ask you something…

What are you afraid of?

I don’t want to hear the safe answer. I want to hear exactly what the real fear is. The one you avoid because saying it out loud would force you to actually have to deal with it.

For years, I told myself I wasn’t afraid of anything. I convinced myself that I was disciplined, focused, and built for the pressure. After all I’ve been through, I thought I did my best work under pressure.

The truth was so much different!

I was totally afraid of all my struggles being exposed.
I was afraid of failing publicly and being embarrassed.
I was afraid that if I slowed down the grind, I would have to feel every single emotion that I had spent years outrunning.

I remember sitting in my truck one night after a meeting and my chest felt tight. I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but I knew something was way off. I was having a panic attack! The crazy part is that I wasn’t afraid of other people at all. I was afraid of what would happen if I stopped pretending that everything was ok and actually told the truth about where I really was.

That fear kept me stuck longer than any of my circumstance ever did.

Fear doesn’t usually show up as panic for me. It shows up as anger. It shows up as staying constantly busy so you never have to sit with your own thoughts. It shows up as pride, perfectionism and it shows up as excuses that sound logical but really aren’t.

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Most people aren’t lazy… most people aren’t incapable… most people are just afraid.

They’re afraid to start because they might fail.
They’re afraid to leave because they might lose comfort.
They’re afraid to heal because it removes the last excuse.

So I’ll ask you again…

What are you afraid of?

Are you afraid of failing?
Are you afraid of succeeding and not being able to sustain it?
Are you afraid of being alone?
Are you afraid of being seen for who you really are?
Are you afraid of outgrowing the version of yourself that people are used to seeing?

Be honest. You don’t have to post it publicly. You don’t have to tell anyone else yet. But you need to tell yourself.

Write it down. Say it out loud. Sit with it.

Because the fear you refuse to name is the fear that controls you.

What are you afraid of?

Jeff

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P.S. Enjoying Today’s Light? Explore the rest of Light In The Tunnel. Mental health support for men and women, plus journal entries and prompts to help you stay grounded.
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