I’m sitting here on Christmas Eve, and the house is quieter than usual. Not completely silent, just enough to hear my own thoughts. This time of year has a way of pulling things to the surface. Memories. Expectations. Old wounds we pretend no longer matter.

There is a cost to staying numb, and it doesn’t always show up right away. At first, numbness feels like relief. It feels like control. It feels safer than feeling too much, hoping too much, or being disappointed again. But numbness never stays contained. It spreads.

When you stay numb long enough, you don’t just mute the pain. You mute the joy. You stop feeling the weight of loss, but you also stop feeling the warmth of connection. You stop hurting, but you also stop being moved. And over time, life starts happening around you instead of with you.

I know this because I have lived it. I learned how to shut things down early. How to keep moving without feeling. How to survive without being present. It worked, until it didn’t. What I did not realize then was that numbness was costing me moments I would never get back. Conversations. Laughter. The quiet, sacred in-between spaces that actually matter.

Sitting here today, I can see how tempting it is to check out when emotions run high. Holidays can do that. They remind you of what was lost, what is missing, and what never turned out the way you hoped. But numbing out is not neutral. It is a decision, and it always charges interest.

Feeling again is uncomfortable. It cracks you open. It slows you down. It forces you to sit with things you would rather avoid. But it is also where life returns. It is where healing begins. It’s where God meets us, not in our shutdown, but in our honesty.

If you are reading this and you feel numb, I want you to know something. Numbness kept you alive once. It helped you survive. But you do not have to live there forever.

Even a small willingness to feel is enough for today. You don’t have to fix everything. You don’t have to understand it all. Just stay present. Stay here. Let yourself feel what shows up.

The cost of staying numb is too high, and you are worth more than survival alone.

Inhale for 4
Hold for 2
Exhale for 6

Notice what you feel, even if the answer is “nothing.”

What do I use to numb myself emotionally?
What feelings feel unsafe to experience?
What would it look like to feel just one emotion today without judgment?

Numbness protected you once. You can thank it without letting it run your life forever. Healing begins when you allow yourself to feel again, even in small doses.

Name one emotion you experienced today, even briefly.
Write it down. No analysis. No fixing. Just acknowledgment.

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Take this with you today…
Feeling again is a brave act.
- Jeff