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At some point you’ve got to be totally honest with yourself about who keeps asking you to explain things that were never confusing in the first place.
They understand… they just don’t care. Or worse… they benefit from you staying stuck in that same shitty cycle.
You keep breaking your own heart trying to turn your pain into something they’ll finally respect. You soften it, you clean it up, you make it sound reasonable enough for them to accept. You try to make your boundaries easier for them to swallow and every time you do that, you lose a little more of yourself.
Truth bomb…
People who benefit from your silence will always pretend your voice is too much. People who benefit from your confusion will always act like you’re hard to understand. People who benefit from your wounds staying open will never be the ones helping you heal them.
So you sit there explaining again and again. Hoping this time it lands differently. It doesn’t… it never does. Not because you’re saying it wrong, but because they need you to stay exactly where you are.
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That’s the part nobody wants to admit. Some people don’t want you healed, they want you manageable. They want the version of you that tolerates more than you should, the version that questions yourself instead of questioning them, the version that stays just hurt enough to not walk away.
And you keep trying to get understanding from people who are invested in misunderstanding you. That’s exhausting! And it’s costing you more than you think!
Healing isn’t always about learning how to communicate better. Sometimes it’s about learning who no longer deserves access to you and your explanations. You don’t owe clarity to people who use it against you. You don’t owe vulnerability to people who weaponize it. You don’t owe continued access to people who keep proving they’re not safe to be around. You don’t owe anyone, anything!
At some point, the most honest thing you can do is stop explaining and start moving differently. Move quieter… stronger… clearer. You’re not giving up, you’re just finally understanding!
Some people were never confused… they were comfortable. And your healing disrupts that completely.
Stop trying to convince them… start choosing you!!
Jeff
P.S.
Who in your life keeps asking you to explain your pain constantly… while doing nothing to stop causing it?
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